MISFIT - Chapter 1

 MISFIT - Chapter 1

At age 47 and with the experience of being with 3 girls and numerous other people, I now think about how this life has shaped me. One thing I have realised is even though I think I am not a bad person, I am a misfit. Do you understand what a misfit is? I will quote the internet in this explanation. a misfit is a person whose behaviour or attitude sets them apart from others in an uncomfortably conspicuous way. What needs to be noted is the uncomfortably conspicuous way.  That is where the problem lies, in an uncomfortable way. Well, I probably won't blame people for being the way they are, after all, it's me who is a misfit right? But I would like to ask, what happens to people like me? I am also like any other soul which was brought into this world. I was not asked if I needed to be brought. Given the life I had or the pain I have brought to the people I know I care about, I probably would not have wanted to have a life. Life? Life in itself is an enigma to decipher, and I dont have either the courage or intellect to do that. I am so tired of even trying to understand why people behave the way they do. I might be totally wrong and I do understand that it might be me and probably it is me who is the problem, but I am not a bad person, but someone who is a misfit, that's all. How does a person like me try to co-exist in this world? Please tell me. I have tried my level best but almost all have left. No, I should say ALL have left. I am so alone, well I should say not alone but lonely. There is a difference between being alone and being lonely. I am Lonely, but I do understand after 47 years and people living with me that there is something wrong within myself and probably not the world. I have tried my best to understand it, but it's all in vain. The only person who understood me turned out to be cowered. The other person who came into my life eventually learnt that I am a misfit and I harm her more than I do any good to her and she also left. Well to be very honest, all left, my brother, my girlfriend, my wife and in recent times, who U again trusted and thought that she will be the one I can finally lean to and finally can rest my life with, she also leaves. I know now with this small introduction you all will be asking that, if all is leaving, there is something that is wrong with you than the world around you, and I would say YES probably it is, that is the reason I am saying I am a misfit and that's the topic of this article. But I am sure there would be others who are a misfit and are trying to find someone who can understand them and can relate with them. I am also looking for someone like this, and till now I have not found anyone. Who so ever I find I love, I care, has just left me. I am not blaming them. It's not their fault, it's me, I understand that it's me. Something is wrong with me. Else why would people leave? People leave because they do not find you the kind of person they want you to be, and when 99% of people leave you like this, you need to understand that you are a misfit. MISFIT… this is a very important terminology and very less people understand it. I think I did mention it at the beginning of the article. I would like to iterate it again “a person whose behaviour or attitude sets them apart from others in an uncomfortably conspicuous way.” as I said the word to note is “uncomfortable”. This goes for almost all people. Almost all, in fact, I would say 99% of the people will find you uncomfortable and you will try your level best to please them or make them comfortable, but you will not be able to, that is why you are a misfit. Now you understand. MISFIT person according to society has no right to survive, they are garbage, an abomination so to speak. But misfits can't commit suicide, can they or should they, you tell me, what should they do? It's not that they do not try to blend within the norms of this society, but they cannot, how so ever hard they try, they will not able to, and that is the reason there is a term for them. “MISFIT”